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do you suffer from nss?

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the face of Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome Do you suffer from

Experts estimate that as much as a third of the world's computer programming productivity may be lost due to Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome and that this debilitating disorder may already be spreading to other fields and professions!

While it is not certain when NSS first appeared in the human population or even when it began to approach its present epidemic status, a recent re-examination of university records and student lab books indicate that Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome was already widespread in the grad student population by the mid-seventies.

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As of this writing, NSS is believed to be most common in the engineering grad student and computer programmer populations and does not appear to have spread to either liberal arts students or human resources personnel--but, then, how could you tell...?

Don't assume Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome
could never happen to you or to someone you supervise
- it could!

Watch for these ten warning signs; if someone exhibits six or more of them at least occasionally, that person may have Nocturnal Sleepiness Syndrome.

  1. Inability to concentrate on coding, debugging, or homework assignments for more than twenty or thirty hours at a time.
  2. Difficulty meeting management's goals and deadlines.
  3. Panic or anxiety when break room is out of coffee and/or Mountain Dew.
  4. Deterioration in personal appearance and grooming including but not limited to:
    1. Wrinkled or rumpled clothing and hair.
    2. Sweaty areas under arms.
    3. (in males) Darkening and roughening of the cheeks and chin.
    4. Loosening of tie.
  5. Bloodshot eyes, dilated pupils, excessive or inappropriate laughter.
  6. Awkwardness of gait or deterioration of posture.
  7. Changes in personality or speech patterns, fatigue, or lack of vitality.
  8. Lack of movement and/or lines of code written after midnight.
  9. Slurred speech or unintelligible vocalizations after 3:00 AM.
  10. The appearance of a central raised area on the suspected NSS sufferer's bed.
The Unnatural Enquirer, © 2001 by Trygve Lode (

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