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the perfect electronic gentleman

Chivalry isn't dead
- it's been upgraded!

After you've experienced


you'll never settle for mere human companionship again!

Let's face it, with your busy, demanding lifestyle, you don't have the time to worry about someone else's problems and feelings, let alone go out looking for a compatible partner who might even come up to your standards.

That's why you need AIBODATE, the first synthetic SO to combine style, good looks, and a multifunction remote control that not only lets you set the mood, but can be programmed to operate your TV and stereo too!

They used to say that all the good ones are either married or gay - but that was before there was AIBODATE!

(available now at The SharPei Image, Gidget's Gadget Boutique, and by mail order direct from Personi Electronics; attractive financing plans available)

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AIBO is Japanese for "companion," but it's also an acronym for some cutesy catchphrase that marketing is still struggling over. AIBODATE is no mere toy! AIBODATE is a marvel of modern electronic and computer technology combined with the latest in synthetic composite materials and designer styling.

AIBODATE's sophisticated sensory aparatus allows it to sense and respond to its surroundings and situations, but most of all, your AIBODATE is sensitive to YOU.


In today's era of demanding careers and long workdays, it has become increasingly difficult and impractical to nurture a child, a pet, or even a houseplant. Imagine having all the joys of having an intelligent, alert companion at your home with none of the toil, guilt, and fretting that usually go along with emotional and physical maintenance!

AIBODATE enjoys and responds to attention and affection, can recognize your voice and understand up to fifty basic voice commands, and always behaves impeccably whether on your arm at a formal society ball or by your side for an intimate evening in front of the fireplace.

AIBODATE provides all the benefits of an ordinary flesh-and-blood romantic partner with none of the drawbacks and worries. AIBODATE is always a sensitive and patient listener, is strong yet gentle, is never too tired or distracted to give you the attention and affection you deserve, and there's never a worry of unwanted pregnancy or disease.

Your AIBODATE is always 100% dedicated to satisfying your needs because, apart from electricity, the occasional gentle cleaning with a soft cloth, and the fulfillment of any financing options you may have selected when you placed your order, your AIBODATE has no needs!

AIBODATE features
audio input
always the perfect listener, AIBODATE understands nearly fifty pre-programmed voice commands. You can add more commands and responses with any of several optional feature and personality packs or even teach your AIBODATE to respond to your own custom commands!
many high-performance features
visual sensor
AIBODATE's ultra-sophisticated dual visual inputs are programmed to always see you in the best light and, with the optional NightVision feature, your AIBODATE will work in the dark, too!
lithium ion power cells
incorporating the latest in lithium ion battery technology, your AIBODATE will outlast even the Energizer Bunny, and with the optional AC power adapter, you'll never worry that your AIBODATE will run out of energy before you do!
five-way tactile array
capable of delicate and controlled manupulation,
- massage feature pack now available
touch sensor
highly sensitive and responsive
dual-mode ambulatory system
capable of walking, dancing, and so much more! optional replaceable footwear available in many high-fashion styles and colors

Ordinary human companions get older, tired, and even wrinkly as they age. AIBODATE only gets better, as new firmware and hardware upgrades become available. AIBODATE's expandable and upgradeable design guarantees that you'll never be left with a partner who's behind-the-times, unfashionable, or obsolete.

Don't spend another day alone or waste it on a partner who's less than perfect! Order your AIBODATE today!

Warning, do not expose your AIBODATE to any of the following:
  • Water
    (AIBODATE is not approved
     for bath or shower use)
  • Excessive magnetic fields
  • Static electricity
Exposure to any of these may cause AIBODATE to malfunction, lose its
memory and/or programming, run amok, and will violate your warranty.

Personi Electronics specifically disavows any liability for damages
caused by the use of or proximity to any of its products.

The Unnatural Enquirer, © 2001 by Trygve Lode (

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