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exercise humor parody
"The best method for increasing "tone" is by increasing the rigidity of the muscles. This is best acheived through rigor mortis. So kill yourself.. "
-- Lee Michaels

If most people put half the fucking effort into working that they do into pissing and moaning, the world would not be so full of pathetic underachievers.
-- Eric Midkiff

The women at a party exist in an indeterminate quantum attraction state until you walk into the room, at which point the state resolves into one in which they're all uniformly lusting after whatever is most unlike you.
-- Trygve "the tree by the river" Lode

I now believe in reincarnation. Nobody could be this stupid in one lifetime.
-- T. Blaze Boren

A gaining phase isn't an excuse to eat like a PMSing tree shrew.
-- Mistress Krista

Most people are dumb as bricks; some people are dumber than that.
-- Lyle McDonald

All speech is vain and empty unless it is accompanied by action.
-- Demosthenes

Knowledge is power.
Power corrupts.
Study hard. Be evil.

People like you are why they only open the top half of coffins!
-- Tommy Bowen

When in doubt, stand up with a bar in your hands.
-- J.V. Askem

Short on sympathy, Big on results

Google is your friend. We are not.
-- Lee Michaels

1. Eat less.
2. Exercise more.
3. Rest.
4. Repeat.
-- Mikelle Fischer