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You Might Be A Bodybuilder If...
email@example.com (Sam Campbell III)
1) You think the term "musclebound freak" is high praise.
2) While discussing the intricate biochemical processes that occur
during a steroid cycle with non-bodybuilders, they think you have a
degree in chemistry.
3) You have firsthand knowledge of which supplements will "make your
4) You take so many supplements your urine glows in the dark.
5) You know that a "Swiss Ball" is not a dancing extravaganza in
6) You have experimented with various drink and protein powder mixes
until you found one that didn't make you gag.
7) You've ever taken a bucket to the gym "just in case I barf after
20 rep squats."
8) You are a woman with a voice that sounds eerily like Lieutenant
Worf's from Star Trek: Next Generation. (a definite steroid tip-off)
9) You've ever counted "reps" while masturbating.
10) You have ever calculated the protein, carb, fat ratio of ramen
noodles. (Ok, so this is You Might Be A BROKE Bodybuilder If...)
11) You have ever used the terms "carbo loading", "insuiln spike",
and "donuts" in the same sentence.
12) You think putting chalk on your hands and putting baby powder on
your thighs looks "cool."
13) You can name 10 other competition-level bodybuilders other than
Arnold Schwarzenegger, Lou Ferrigno and Steve Reeves.
14) You think it's quite possible that creatine monohydrate was
inspired by the Holy Ghost.
15) You obsess over whether your body is "in ketosis."
16) You think that "feeling the burn" is almost as good as, if not
better than, sex.
17) You use the CAE stack to "get ripped" instead of a bottle of
18) You think "tone" is strictly for singers and musicians.
19) You use the term "bulking up" instead of "gaining weight."
20) You've ever smeared goop all over you that turns you into a
healthy, deep shade of orange. (Okay, this is You Might Be A
COMPETITIVE Bodybuilder If...)
This list was compiled by me, a self-confessed wannabee. I would love
to hear the more experienced folks weigh in on this subject!