Trygve.Com > MFW > Humor > TwinkLabs new "Pepperoni Fuel"
exercise humor parody Subject: Re: CALORIES! GIVE ME CALORIES!! :)
From: (the tree by the river)
Date: 1998/11/24

In article <>, jerry <> wrote:
>Will Brink wrote:
>> In article <>, jerry <> wrote:
>> > Please list your choice of food that would
>> > best be consumed by a skinny runt like myself.
>> Ever hear of pizza?
>Is this some new supplement? Is it like that creatine stuff? Will this
>'pizza' stuff get me HUGE?;)

Why, yes--but you shouldn't be wasting your time with those ordinary freshly-baked pizzas, now that for a mere thousand times the price per gram, you can buy TwinkLabs new "Pepperoni Fuel" with 100% pure ion- enriched pepperoni slices rolled up and stuffed into convenient gelatin capsules. Or, maybe you should purchase "MozzaPlex," the new pizza replacement drink from Exploitational and Appalling SalesTactics which is an almost palatable blend of pizza toppings, crust, and box, now available in Soybean Chutney, Apricot-Avocado Whizz, and Discarded Sneaker flavors. According to a recent article in Mucous Mediocre 200, some people with masters degrees in something have conclusively shown that albino cockroaches fed a diet consisting of 60% MozzaPlex and 40% fresh human blood showed a 34% greater resistance to vertical crushing than the control group, which consisted of genetically obese Syrian lemon slugs fed a diet of 80% styrofoam packing peanuts, 15% rock salt, and 5% Nair.