Trygve.Com > MFW > Humor > TwinkLabs new "Pepperoni Fuel"
Re: CALORIES! GIVE ME CALORIES!! :)
firstname.lastname@example.org (the tree by the river)
In article <365A4242.2CD16AEF@baynet.net>, jerry
>Will Brink wrote:
>> In article <36551DE3.FFE8F6A4@baynet.net>, jerry
>> > Please list your choice of food that would
>> > best be consumed by a skinny runt like myself.
>> Ever hear of pizza?
>Is this some new supplement? Is it like that creatine stuff? Will this
>'pizza' stuff get me HUGE?;)
Why, yes--but you shouldn't be wasting your time with those ordinary
freshly-baked pizzas, now that for a mere thousand times the price per
gram, you can buy TwinkLabs new "Pepperoni Fuel" with 100% pure ion-
enriched pepperoni slices rolled up and stuffed into convenient
gelatin capsules. Or, maybe you should purchase "MozzaPlex," the new
pizza replacement drink from Exploitational and Appalling SalesTactics
which is an almost palatable blend of pizza toppings, crust, and box,
now available in Soybean Chutney, Apricot-Avocado Whizz, and Discarded
Sneaker flavors. According to a recent article in Mucous Mediocre 200,
some people with masters degrees in something have conclusively
shown that albino cockroaches fed a diet consisting of 60% MozzaPlex
and 40% fresh human blood showed a 34% greater resistance to vertical
crushing than the control group, which consisted of genetically obese
Syrian lemon slugs fed a diet of 80% styrofoam packing peanuts, 15%
rock salt, and 5% Nair.